Section 30

The 2006-2007 preseason college basketball coaches poll is out, and I noticed something wrong with it.

1. Florida
No issues here.  The Gators are the most-talented, scariest defending national champions since Duke was in 2002.  They return everyone and they’ll be tough to beat.

2. Carolina
I’m just really hoping there are serious chemistry issues on this team.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  Really. 

3. Kansas
Bill Self lost starting center Sasha Kaun through Christmas after having already suspended his backup, C.J. Giles.  Kaun averaged eight and five while Giles averaged six and five last season.  Kansas will be ok. 

4. Ohio State
If Oden is healthy by Christmas, this is a legitimate national championship contender.

5. Pitt, UCLA (tied)
These are two really good teams that I don’t really care all that much about.

What bothers me is how on earth in the name of Lakista McCuller can you leave out Sidney Lowe’s mighty Cardiac Pack? 

Shameful. 

This is a team that averaged 74.5 points per game in its ’05-’06 campaign and returns 27.1 of that with the hobbled Engin Atsur (10.8), wet-back Gavin Grant (8.3), Brandon Costner (2.8), Ben McCauley (2.1), Courtney Fells (2.0), Braxton Albritton (0.9), and #20 in your programs but #1 in your hearts, Bryan Nieman (0.2). 

How can you underestimate a squad bringing back 36% of its total scoring and 34% of its total minutes?  How can you not be excited about a team that will start three guys that combined to average seven points and six minutes per game last season?

This team is reminiscent of that 1995 team, which beat Carolina in Reynolds when they were #1 and then-undefeated and also gave second-ranked Kansas everything they could handle.  Of course, we don’t have a dominant center like Todd Fuller.  Actually, that ’95 team finished 3-13 in the conference and lost to Duke in the Les Robinson Classic, so let’s not reminisce after all. 

All that really matters is that this team has a new coach with a new attitude, new style, but the same (winning) tradition.  Plus, the new traditional-looking uniforms and the Reynolds-esque paint scheme on the court are both very sharp and have the Doc’s complete approval.

So to the Woffords, Deleware States, and Gardner Webbs out there: beware.  This is a team that could really step up and surprise some people this season.  This is a team that is very capable of finishing as high as tenth in the conference, and should not be overlooked. 

Well, the Bears dominated again.  Shades of ’85 if you ask me.

And I was the brave soul that stepped up.  Since Wagon and the Doc were a little scared to try Slim out.  I’ll do the regular review and then compare mine picks to Slim’s.  Here we go:

Tennessee -3 over Houston: Right on.  I like for that first one to be correct.  Makes me feel warm inside: 1-0

Philly -7 over Jax: Nope, that Jax D made a comeback after a couple of off weeks: 1-1

Cincinnati – 4 over Atlanta: Vick is making his prescence felt, and I’m not talking about the herpes: 1-2

Tampa +9 over NYG: Gradoaignoeski has nothing for that awakening GMEN D: 1-3

Chicago -16 over San Francisco: Gotta go with the Bears, glad you have learned this: 2-3

Green Bay -3.5 over Arizona: Easy pick, why didn’t I take them?: 3-3

Kansas City -6 over Seattle: Nice, although Wallace wasn’t as bad as I thought.  LJ is the damn man: 4-3

Nawlins -2 over Baltlimore: Nope, Billick calling the run certainly helped this week: 4-4

St Louis -9.5 over San Diego: FJ has another solid game….: 4-5

Pittsburgh -8.5 over Oakland: Umm, I think Roeaoiugbireburger was still concussed: 4-6

NY Jets +2.5 over Cleveland: Nope.  Jets are sucking these days: 4-7

Indianapolis +3 over Denver: Another damn TIE, kinda like kissing your sister: 4-7-1

Dallas +5 over Carolina: Went against the home team and was correct.  Gotta have balls to do that: 5-7-1

New England -1.5 over Minnesota: Easy call here, but you got it right: 6-7-1

10 Star Locks of the Week: KC, Jets, and NO: 1-2 The bad thing is that is performance is an improvement.  That is simply a disgrace.  Even more embarrassing should be Slim’s “locks”.  That is pitiful, and simply unacceptable.

Overall Record: 49-63-4

Now on to the fun part.  My record is: the exact same.  Guess it is a little harder than you think.I understand that we have a challenger to try SLIM on for size this week.  Will the real WANG please stand up.

Said challenger should email his picks against the spread to me prioir to 1 PM this coming Sunday.  If, said challenger can pass the rigorous standards in place at Section 30, then they might be able to post directly.  Have to grovel to the WAGON to see.

Also of note, my fantasy completely embarrassed the Doc’s team, by more than doubling his weak ass score.  My team is now 7-1 and sitting pretty after passing through most of the bye weeks.

Till next week….

Just for comparisons sake:

Tennessee -3 over Houston: Houston

Philly -7 over Jax: Philly

Cincinnati – 4 over Atlanta: Bungals

Tampa +9 over NYG: NYG

Chicago -16 over San Francisco: Da Bears

Green Bay -3.5 over Arizona: Arizona

Kansas City -6 over Seattle: KC

Nawlins -2 over Baltlimore: B-more

St Louis -9.5 over San Diego: St. Louis will have a nice sports week

Pittsburgh -8.5 over Oakland: Oakland

NY Jets +2.5 over Cleveland: Jets

Indianapolis +3 over Denver: Indy

Dallas +5 over Carolina: Carolina

New England -1.5 over Minnesota: NE

10 Star Locks of the Week: Bungals, B-more, and Jets

Nice week last week. Really turned it around. Instead of a steady decline, I’m now in a full-fleged, five alarm nose dive. Time to pull up before I end up in the afterlife singing “Take Me Home Country Roads” with John Fucking Denver.

Tennessee -3 over Houston: Would’ve loved to have seen the look on the faces of the CBS announcers that got stuck with this stinker.

Philly -7 over Jax:  Got a feeling Jim Johnson is going to call blitzes until he’s blue in the face.

Cincinnati – 4 over Atlanta: Atlanta can’t stop anyone either. This game may end up being a shootout, although I think Vick used up a season’s worth of completions last Sunday.

Tampa +9 over NYG: Something interesting is going on in Tampa. The defense is really stepping it up and Gradowski is doing just enough.

Chicago -16 over San Francisco: Shouldn’t even be close. This could finally be the Sunday when someone actually get’s their head taken off on the field.

Green Bay -3.5 over Arizona: The Cardinals are in more of a tailspin than my picks.

Kansas City -6 over Seattle: Good opportunity for the Chefs in this one. Seneca+Maurice+Arrowhead= Blood in the Water

Nawlins -2 over Baltlimore: Not picking against the Saints in the Dome until I get a good reason.

St Louis -9.5 over San Diego: Make no mistake, the Football Jesus will prove victorious, but the Rams shouldn’t be giving 9 to anyone, especially a banged/juiced up Chargers’ defense.

Pittsburgh -8.5 over Oakland: Pittsburgh is living and dying with quarterback play. If Big Ben is ready the Steelers will roll.

NY Jets +2.5 over Cleveland: Leon Washington (the last living Seminole) should have a field day against a craptastic Browns run defense.

Indianapolis +3 over Denver: Denver’s defense has been stout as of late, but I’m not sure how they’ll react to not playing in prime time.

Dallas +5 over Carolina: Panther’s might be the worst team in the league as a home favorite. I think they win, but this will be closer than it should be.

New England -1.5 over Minnesota: I’d like to pick Minnesota, but the Pats are cruising right along. Just like me after this week.

10 Star Locks of the Week: Kansas City, NY Jets, and New Orleans

San Diego -5 over Kansas City: Nope – FJ had two turnovers, but almost rallied them back: 0-1

Jacksonville -9.5 over Houston: No Sir – Jax got Jacked Up, on a side note, Andre Johnson is a fantasy beast: 0-2

Buffalo +5.5 over New England: Not again – I thought we talked about picking against BB?: 0-3

Pittsburgh -2.5 over Atlanta: Almost, but not quite, auspicious start: 0-4

Green Bay +5 over Miami: Here we go. The pick master against the pick pupil, I think the pupil has eclipsed the master: 1-4

Philidelphia -5 over Tampa: Nope, thanks to McNabbs 5 TD’s -> 2 to Rhonde Barber: 1-5

NY Jets -3.5 over Detroit: Nice, betting advice of the week, Detriot should be getting more than 7 points a week.  First watchable game of the year for them tho: 2-5

Carolina +3.5 over Cincinnati: Going with the hometown team covering, I think this….Too bad Jake threw the late pick: 3-5

Cleveland +4.5 over Denver: Not sure I understand this one.  Although CLE did manage to score a TD: 3-6

Washington +9 over Indy: Nope, Peyton went off: 3-7

Seattle -6.5 over Minnesota: Chester is still running…..: 3-8

Arizona -3 over Oakland: Oaktown gets off the snide.  Denny sucks almost as bad as his O-Line: 3-9

Dallas -3 over NY Giants: TO made a quick appearance, but the QB’s there are worse than McNabb…or Favre: 3-10

In an effort to get out of his rut with the locks, the WORM didn’t provide any this week.  I must say that is an unusual method to get out of the bad feelings, but I’m not one to question Slim’s methods, or madness…

This has been the worst effort to date.  3-10 is just pitiful.  There isn’t much more you can say about that.  In an effort to discover how hard picking against the spread is, yours truly will be submitting picks for next weeks games.  However, you’ll have to wait until Friday (if I decide to do them in a drunken stupor) or Saturday morning for them, because I have a slightly important test on Friday.  I am stepping up because too many other sissy’s (Luke and Matt specifically) were afraid to submit themselves to the harsh glare of the fact checkers over here at Checking In, your favorite weekly gambling correction site in the intranet.

Overall Record: 43-56-3

I’m totally shocked by last week.  At 3:30 I was cruising.  My picks were looking good and my 2 team parlay was looking sharp.  By 4:15 the Eagles, Bengals, and Rams has all shit the bed and my betus.com account balance had hit $0.00.  Only solution I can come up with is that I’m out-thinking myself.  This week, I’m going with my gut first impression.  Here it is, for your edification:

San Diego -5 over Kansas City.  Football Jesus

Jacksonville -9.5 over Houston.  Houston’s really bad defense

Buffalo +5.5 over New England.  No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills

Pittsburgh -2.5 over Atlanta.  Atlanta’s banged up defense.

Green Bay +5 over Miami .  Favre > Harrington

Philidelphia -5 over Tampa.   Two in a row is pushing it.  For both teams.

NY Jets -3.5 over Detroit.   Gotta fade Kitna.

Carolina +3.5 over Cincinnati.  The Panthers have covered 18 of the last 21 as a dog.

Cleveland +4.5 over Denver.  Denver’s begging for someone to beat them.

Washington +9 over Indy.  That Indy run defense.

Seattle -6.5 over Minnesota.  Offense looked good last week.

Arizona -3 over Oakland.  Oakland sucks.

Dallas -3 over NY Giants:  TO on Monday Night

Before we started, everyone should take a minute to stop and worship the Bears D in silence:

Thanks!

Gotta love the WORM’s optimism.  That is a true gambler at work.  I just hope he leads his sheep to the promised land, and not the wolves.  Let’s see if he made a turnaround as predicted:

Cincinnati -6 over Tampa Bay: Bad start for the turnaround: 0-1

Washington -9.5 over Tennessee: Really bad start: 0-2

Dallas -13 over Houston: OK, here we go: 1-2

Buffalo pk over Detroit: Not looking so hot here.  On a side note, how many games this year will Detriot play in that are basically unwatchable?  My guess is 16: 1-3

St. Louis +3.5 over Seattle: There is a chance: 2-3

Atlanta -2.5 over New York Giants: Surprise surprise: 2-4

Philadelphia -3 over Nawlins: Nope, that sound you hear is the WORM’s plane crashing: 2-5

Carolina +2.5 over Baltimore:OK, nice pick on the hometeam: 3-5

NY Jets -2.5 over Miami: barely: 4-5

San Diego -10 over San Francisco: easy one, but it is right: 5-5

Kansas City +7 over Pittsburgh:wow.  nope.  What is the deal with Big Ben?: 5-6

Oakland +16 over Denver: nice pick, there was no way I would have picked that way: 6-6

Chicago -10 over Arizona:I just want to apologize to the WORM for the offense performing like it did and not allowing the Bears to cover: 6-7

Locks of the Week:  Take the Jets and the Eagles: Just 1-1 again.  Another lack luster effort after the prediction of a turnaround.  Gamblers, do not read this site.  I will let you know when it is safe again.

Another losing week (in the red, not the pink) is not a good thing.  There must be some penalty instituted for Slim’s poor performance.  The staff is actively seeking suggestions from the audience for said punishment.

Overall record: 40-46-3 Still down overall, and it got worse this week.  Good news is that the hole isn’t all that deep, just gotta have some better picks.

Any challengers?  Wagon, you have enough free time to make some picks.  I might have to recruit an outside contributor.  I’d hate to do that tho. Got someone in mind tho…..

LT’s 4 rushing TD’s might have helped too.

Slow start to Locktober, but at least we didn’t finish in the red.  After this week we’ll be back to .500 for the season and we’ll be ready to start making some real money.  Onto this weeks winners:

Cincinnati -6 over Tampa Bay:  The Bengals had an off week last and that should give them more than enough time to prepare for the Bruce Gradkowski.
Washington -9.5 over Tennessee:  The Skins should get back on track this week as the Titans came back to earth.  The Titans won’t be able to move the ball as well this week as they did against the Indianapolis High School Colts.

Dallas -13 over Houston:  Dallas rebounds against an atrocious Houston team and Drew Bledsoe buys himself a few more weeks as starter.
Buffalo pk over Detroit:  Losman…Kitna…It’s the NFL on Fox!  The nation’s suicide rate doubles during this game.

St. Louis +3.5 over Seattle:  I’m still not sold on the Seadogs.  The Rams are quietly playing well, opposed to last year when they were sucking loudly.

Atlanta -2.5 over New York Giants:  I think the Giants defense gets exposed this week.  Just about the same time another Giant insults their manager.

Philadelphia -3 over Nawlins:  Lock of the week.  I just don’t understand this line at all.  New Orleans has one good win this season, and that was in probably the most emotional game in NFL since Joe Namath tried to make out with Suzy Kolber.  Otherwise, they’ve beat the Browns and the Bucs.  Let me repeat, they’ve beat Vick, Frye, and Gradkowski.  Not exactly murderer’s row.  Take the Eagles in a rout.

Carolina +2.5 over Baltimore:  This should be an interesting game.  I don’t think the Ravens are good enough to score against the Panthers.  One a side note, I can only thank God that this game is being played in Baltimore.  I don’t think there are enough deadbolt locks in the Queen City to make me feel safe knowing Ray Lewis was in town.

NY Jets -2.5 over Miami:  Who’s got the worse luck, Culpepper or Harrington?  Culpepper loses Moss and is exposed as a fraud.  Harrington signs with Miami as a back up thinking he’ll never have to be booed again and is now thrust into the line up.

San Diego -10 over San Francisco:  Until further notice, don’t bet against the Chargers.  Never.  Take them to win during their off week.

Kansas City +7 over Pittsburgh:  Roethlisberger is done.  DONE.  Mark my words, Charlie Batch will be starting for this team at the end of the season.

Oakland +16 over Denver:  Oakland puts it together sooner or later.  It starts with them losing a close one to a good team.

Chicago -10 over Arizona:  This one’s for Ben.

Locks of the Week:  Take the Jets and the Eagles.  Don’t sweat it at all.  If you have any extra cash at all, take this parlay.  Do yourself a favor.

Bears are undefeated and looking good.

As you can see from the WORM’s post title, he thinks his picks, or maybe just his locks, are well, LOCKS.  We’ll see about that: