Author: Captain

Well, I took the week off, so I can’t say much to Slim.  Plus, his fantasy team whipped mine.  Although I still have a solid lead over the crowd chasing me.  Portis is a pussy.

We’ll check in on how Wang and the good Doc did:

Baltimore (-7) at Tennessee: (0-1-0) Got the win but couldn’t cover.  Gotta say that VY is doing better than I thought.  Gotta thank Chow….

Buffalo at Indianapolis (-12.5): (0-2-0) The good Doc’s Bills actually played this week…

Chicago at N.Y. Giants 1:00 p.m. (Pick ‘em): (1-2-0) Go with the Bears my friend..nice job.

Cleveland at Atlanta (-8.5) 1:00 p.m.: (2-2-0) Called the upset.  Get a little credit here….

Green Bay at Minnesota (-5.5) 1:00 p.m.: (3-2-0) Only two TDs for Favre, but Green Bay covered..weird to hear that this year.

Houston at Jacksonville (-10.5) 1:00 p.m.: (3-3-0) Houston pulls the upset…How about a QB controversy for both teams?

Kansas City (-1) at Miami 1:00 p.m.: (3-4-0) Fins turning it around, just like last year…winning AFTER it matters.

New Orleans at Pittsburgh (-4.5) 1:00 p.m.: (3-5-0) Brees did have a good day, too bad the NO D didn’t…

N.Y. Jets at New England (10.5) 1:00 p.m.: (4-5-0) Another nice call. 

San Diego (-1.5) at Cincinnati 1:00 p.m.: (5-5-0) EERIE……

San Francisco at Detroit (-6) 1:00 p.m.: (6-5-0) the UNCC team wins…

Washington at Philadelphia (-7) 1:00 p.m.: (7-5-0) Easy call, but got it right…

Denver (-9) at Oakland 4:05 p.m.: (8-5-0) Denver fails to cover…….

Dallas (-7) at Arizona 4:15 p.m.: (8-6-0) TO catches at least one TD…..

St. Louis at Seattle (-3.5) 4:15 p.m.: (9-6-0) Nice call on a close game

Tampa Bay at Carolina (-9) 8:30 p.m.: (10-6-0) Eerie part duex

Nice job Wang.  Best week by anyone so far.

Now that the good Doc can understand that bold is for the home team, not his picks:

Baltimore (-7) at Tennessee: (0-1-0) D not so impressive, huh Vince?

Buffalo at Indianapolis (-12.5): (1-1-0) WOW

Chicago at N.Y. Giants (Pick ‘em): (1-2-0) Why must I constantly inform people to not pick agaisnt my Bears

Cleveland at Atlanta (-8.5): (2-2-0) Nice call

Green Bay at Minnesota (-5.5): (3-2-0) barely, and only narey a pick

Houston at Jacksonville (-10.5): (3-3-0) poor Garrad is right, but the Texans win

Well, the Bears dominated again.  Shades of ’85 if you ask me.

And I was the brave soul that stepped up.  Since Wagon and the Doc were a little scared to try Slim out.  I’ll do the regular review and then compare mine picks to Slim’s.  Here we go:

Tennessee -3 over Houston: Right on.  I like for that first one to be correct.  Makes me feel warm inside: 1-0

Philly -7 over Jax: Nope, that Jax D made a comeback after a couple of off weeks: 1-1

Cincinnati – 4 over Atlanta: Vick is making his prescence felt, and I’m not talking about the herpes: 1-2

Tampa +9 over NYG: Gradoaignoeski has nothing for that awakening GMEN D: 1-3

Chicago -16 over San Francisco: Gotta go with the Bears, glad you have learned this: 2-3

Green Bay -3.5 over Arizona: Easy pick, why didn’t I take them?: 3-3

Kansas City -6 over Seattle: Nice, although Wallace wasn’t as bad as I thought.  LJ is the damn man: 4-3

Nawlins -2 over Baltlimore: Nope, Billick calling the run certainly helped this week: 4-4

St Louis -9.5 over San Diego: FJ has another solid game….: 4-5

Pittsburgh -8.5 over Oakland: Umm, I think Roeaoiugbireburger was still concussed: 4-6

NY Jets +2.5 over Cleveland: Nope.  Jets are sucking these days: 4-7

Indianapolis +3 over Denver: Another damn TIE, kinda like kissing your sister: 4-7-1

Dallas +5 over Carolina: Went against the home team and was correct.  Gotta have balls to do that: 5-7-1

New England -1.5 over Minnesota: Easy call here, but you got it right: 6-7-1

10 Star Locks of the Week: KC, Jets, and NO: 1-2 The bad thing is that is performance is an improvement.  That is simply a disgrace.  Even more embarrassing should be Slim’s “locks”.  That is pitiful, and simply unacceptable.

Overall Record: 49-63-4

Now on to the fun part.  My record is: the exact same.  Guess it is a little harder than you think.I understand that we have a challenger to try SLIM on for size this week.  Will the real WANG please stand up.

Said challenger should email his picks against the spread to me prioir to 1 PM this coming Sunday.  If, said challenger can pass the rigorous standards in place at Section 30, then they might be able to post directly.  Have to grovel to the WAGON to see.

Also of note, my fantasy completely embarrassed the Doc’s team, by more than doubling his weak ass score.  My team is now 7-1 and sitting pretty after passing through most of the bye weeks.

Till next week….

Just for comparisons sake:

Tennessee -3 over Houston: Houston

Philly -7 over Jax: Philly

Cincinnati – 4 over Atlanta: Bungals

Tampa +9 over NYG: NYG

Chicago -16 over San Francisco: Da Bears

Green Bay -3.5 over Arizona: Arizona

Kansas City -6 over Seattle: KC

Nawlins -2 over Baltlimore: B-more

St Louis -9.5 over San Diego: St. Louis will have a nice sports week

Pittsburgh -8.5 over Oakland: Oakland

NY Jets +2.5 over Cleveland: Jets

Indianapolis +3 over Denver: Indy

Dallas +5 over Carolina: Carolina

New England -1.5 over Minnesota: NE

10 Star Locks of the Week: Bungals, B-more, and Jets

San Diego -5 over Kansas City: Nope – FJ had two turnovers, but almost rallied them back: 0-1

Jacksonville -9.5 over Houston: No Sir – Jax got Jacked Up, on a side note, Andre Johnson is a fantasy beast: 0-2

Buffalo +5.5 over New England: Not again – I thought we talked about picking against BB?: 0-3

Pittsburgh -2.5 over Atlanta: Almost, but not quite, auspicious start: 0-4

Green Bay +5 over Miami: Here we go. The pick master against the pick pupil, I think the pupil has eclipsed the master: 1-4

Philidelphia -5 over Tampa: Nope, thanks to McNabbs 5 TD’s -> 2 to Rhonde Barber: 1-5

NY Jets -3.5 over Detroit: Nice, betting advice of the week, Detriot should be getting more than 7 points a week.  First watchable game of the year for them tho: 2-5

Carolina +3.5 over Cincinnati: Going with the hometown team covering, I think this….Too bad Jake threw the late pick: 3-5

Cleveland +4.5 over Denver: Not sure I understand this one.  Although CLE did manage to score a TD: 3-6

Washington +9 over Indy: Nope, Peyton went off: 3-7

Seattle -6.5 over Minnesota: Chester is still running…..: 3-8

Arizona -3 over Oakland: Oaktown gets off the snide.  Denny sucks almost as bad as his O-Line: 3-9

Dallas -3 over NY Giants: TO made a quick appearance, but the QB’s there are worse than McNabb…or Favre: 3-10

In an effort to get out of his rut with the locks, the WORM didn’t provide any this week.  I must say that is an unusual method to get out of the bad feelings, but I’m not one to question Slim’s methods, or madness…

This has been the worst effort to date.  3-10 is just pitiful.  There isn’t much more you can say about that.  In an effort to discover how hard picking against the spread is, yours truly will be submitting picks for next weeks games.  However, you’ll have to wait until Friday (if I decide to do them in a drunken stupor) or Saturday morning for them, because I have a slightly important test on Friday.  I am stepping up because too many other sissy’s (Luke and Matt specifically) were afraid to submit themselves to the harsh glare of the fact checkers over here at Checking In, your favorite weekly gambling correction site in the intranet.

Overall Record: 43-56-3

Before we started, everyone should take a minute to stop and worship the Bears D in silence:

Thanks!

Gotta love the WORM’s optimism.  That is a true gambler at work.  I just hope he leads his sheep to the promised land, and not the wolves.  Let’s see if he made a turnaround as predicted:

Cincinnati -6 over Tampa Bay: Bad start for the turnaround: 0-1

Washington -9.5 over Tennessee: Really bad start: 0-2

Dallas -13 over Houston: OK, here we go: 1-2

Buffalo pk over Detroit: Not looking so hot here.  On a side note, how many games this year will Detriot play in that are basically unwatchable?  My guess is 16: 1-3

St. Louis +3.5 over Seattle: There is a chance: 2-3

Atlanta -2.5 over New York Giants: Surprise surprise: 2-4

Philadelphia -3 over Nawlins: Nope, that sound you hear is the WORM’s plane crashing: 2-5

Carolina +2.5 over Baltimore:OK, nice pick on the hometeam: 3-5

NY Jets -2.5 over Miami: barely: 4-5

San Diego -10 over San Francisco: easy one, but it is right: 5-5

Kansas City +7 over Pittsburgh:wow.  nope.  What is the deal with Big Ben?: 5-6

Oakland +16 over Denver: nice pick, there was no way I would have picked that way: 6-6

Chicago -10 over Arizona:I just want to apologize to the WORM for the offense performing like it did and not allowing the Bears to cover: 6-7

Locks of the Week:  Take the Jets and the Eagles: Just 1-1 again.  Another lack luster effort after the prediction of a turnaround.  Gamblers, do not read this site.  I will let you know when it is safe again.

Another losing week (in the red, not the pink) is not a good thing.  There must be some penalty instituted for Slim’s poor performance.  The staff is actively seeking suggestions from the audience for said punishment.

Overall record: 40-46-3 Still down overall, and it got worse this week.  Good news is that the hole isn’t all that deep, just gotta have some better picks.

Any challengers?  Wagon, you have enough free time to make some picks.  I might have to recruit an outside contributor.  I’d hate to do that tho. Got someone in mind tho…..

Bears are undefeated and looking good.

As you can see from the WORM’s post title, he thinks his picks, or maybe just his locks, are well, LOCKS.  We’ll see about that:

 

I’ll follow Slim’s rapid fire ways with my own PTI style baby.  But a quick plug for my dominating 4-0 Bears.  There, let’s go:

San Francisco +7 over Kansas City – How wrong can you be? Huard basically tea bagged the WORM for lack of faith: 0-1

San Diego -2.5 over Baltimore – Wrong again.  All hail the murderer: 0-2

Nawlins +7 over Carolina – least he could his team right: 1-2

Minnesota +1 over Buffalo – Wrong.  I wouldn’t have written anything either.  Only Luscious and his boy little Simms cared about the outcome here: 1-3

Miami -3.5 over Houston – Don’t sleep on Super Mario.  And Culpepper sucks worse than the Texans: 1-4

Indy -9 over NYJ – Wrong, even with the Colts dropping 31.  Pennington to Cotcherry all day my friend: 1-5

Tennessee +9.5 over Dallas – Holy shit, this is almost as bad a call as the KC game: 1-6

Atlanta -7.5 over Arizona – when, at least there are 2 correct picks: 2-6

St. Louis -5.5 over Detriot – OK, back to Slim’s winning ways, but a lot of ground to make up.  And Kitna is next weeks fantasy sleeper, just don’t forget who gave you the tip: 3-6

Cincinnati -6 over New England – Ouch, so much for the winning ways.  Never count out the Pats: 3-7

Jax -3 over Washington – Did the D even touch Brunell?  And portis’ return continues, helping me trample the busted ass so called “wagon”: 3-8

Cleveland -2.5 over Oakland – Right, at least we didn’t have to see Brooks this week, although Curry was sighted throwing another one in the dirt: 4-8

Chicago -2.5 over Seattle – Good pick.  Always pick my Bears: 5-8

Philly -11 over Green Bay -ends on a good note.  And I hate to say it, but Farve shouldn’t have come back: 6-8

Lead Pipe Locks: Indy, Cleveland, St. Louis, and Jacksonville: 2-2

Another lack luster effort from Calhoun here.  You would almost think that Slim’s younger brother Brian (Luke knows Brian too) beat Slim over the head and started making the picks.

Overall Record: 26-33-1

3 losing weeks out of 4.  Unless there is a drastic improvement, this group may have to revoke its endorsement of Calhoun, the betting master.  His poor picks have really been hurting the unsuspecting gamblers out there.  Let’s hope he doesn’t have another week of subpar EFFORT and performance.  Good luck SLIM.

We also have yet to have any person (Luke) step up to the plate and challenge the WORM.  I guess he is too busy chasing the co-eds around the GROVE and getting no where.  At least the WORM is man enough to submit his picks to everyone and take the abuse like a whipped man.  And he gets more than you too.

Well, my Bears are 3-0, so that is nice.  Carolina finally got a win.  And The Worm gets to have his picks reviewed:

NYJ +5.5 over BUFFALO – Nice start for the WORM and for Pennington: 1-0

Cincinnati +2 over PITTSBURGH – Another good call, although I thought this was an easy one: 2-0

INDY -7 over Jacksonville – push, and the first of the year: 2-0-1

Tennessee +11 over MIAMI – Right on my man: 3-0-1

Washington -4 over HOUSTON – Can he challenge Brunell’s record?: 4-0-1

Chicago -3.5 over MINNESOTA – My Bears got the win, but sadly didn’t cover, sorry about that: 4-1-1

Carolina -3 over TAMPA BAY – 2 goods things from the Panthers: Kasey, and they learned how to hit (ask Luke’s boy’s spleen): 4-2-1

Green Bay +6.5 over DETROIT – just by a nose, thank Favre: 5-2-1

Baltimore -6.5 over CLEVELAND – took a 4th quarter flourish for the win, but no cover: 5-3-1

Arizona -4.5 over St. Louis – Warner is the man: 5-4-1

New York Giants +3.5 over SEATTLE – not so fast my friend, Seattle made it look easy getting points this week, and thanks Lee: 5-5-1

Illadelph -6 over San Francisco – Good call, but what does beat the brakes off actually mean?: 6-5-1

NEW ENGLAND -7 over Denver – hahaha, Belicheck’s ego has finally caught up with him: 6-6-1

ATLANTA -3.5 over New Orleans – Umm NO.  I’m not big into the wole rebuilding NO thing, but ATL got taken to the woodshed: 6-7-1

Lead Pipe Locks: Baltimore, Philly and Atlanta : 1-2 Pretty lackluster here again this week.  You shouldn;t be missing the locks because, well, they are locks.

Overall record: 20-25-1

Another losing week.  This of course is unacceptableExpect some improvement or perhaps you will see Slim visiting your local church for a free meal.  And I wouldn’t follow the Locks until Calhoun gets his leprechaun back.

In a new section, we ask for the great WORM to comment on his winning or losing of actual money each week.  Please note that the WORM doesn’t just do this for fun.  He actually bets, as all self-respecting men should.

In fantasy news. Portis made his comeback this week and I continued the vernable JD’s losing streak.  Long live Chris Simms’ spleen.

Let’s see how the ultimate gambler fared in week 2.  As you can see from his post, he liked the blowouts this week.  Please keep in mind that one should always gamble, on every game, even if one decides not to use Slim’s picks.  Without further adieu:

Balitimore -11.5 over OAKLAND – Right on my man.  Blowout #1 : 1-0

INDY -13 over Houston – Another good pick in blowout #2 : 2-0

CINCY -10 over Cleveland – solid pick in blowout #3: 3-0

Buffalo +6.5 over Miami – uh oh.  I hope you guys bet with Mr. Calhoun: 4-0

Detroit +9 over CHICAGO – First mistake…sleeping on my Bears..back on my mid 90’s teams : 4-1

Carolina -1 over MINNESOTA – OT, I think the indians snuck through : 4-2

New York Giants +3 over Philly – OT, Nice pick in a hard game to handicap: 5-2

Tampa +5.5 over ATLANTA – not quite : 5-3

Nawlins -2.5 over GREEN BAY – nice pick.  NO might be fun to watch this year : 6-3

St. Louis -3 over SAN FRANCISCO – wrong: 6-4

SEATTLE -7 over Arizona – can’t pick against the hawks: 7-4

NYJ +6 over the Patriots - No Sir maintain 2 above even: 7-5

FOOTBALL JESUS -11 over Tennessee – right pick and analysis right on: 8-5

DENVER -10.5 over Kansas City – OT, kept it close even without Green: 8-6

DALLAS -6 over Washington – Nice pick to finish Sunday 3 above: 9-6

JAX +2 over Pittsburgh – right on.  Nice upset pick: 10-6

Lead Pipe Locks: Cincy, BMore, and NYJ – (2-1) decent on the locks, but we are expecting a perfect record here.

Overall record: 14-18

Nice comeback by Slim.  Had several nice picks and was relatively accurate.  Of note, Calhoun was 1-2 in the overtime games.  Also of note, Clinton Portis killed my fantasy team this week.  Bastard.

Just a little review of the maestro’s picks from Week 1.  I hope this doesn’t discourage Slim from making picks in subsequent weeks, but we need to fully disclose to the public the accuracy of said picks to maintain our objectivity.  I have no idea what that means.: 

Miami +1 over Steelers – wrong : 0-1

Atlanta +5 over Panthers – right: 1-1

Tampa -3 over B-more – wrong: 1-2

New England -9 over Buffalo – wrong: 1-3

Kansas City -2 over Cincy – wrong: 1-4

Denver -3.5 over St. Louis – wrong: 1-5

Cleveland -3 over New Orleans – wrong: 1-6

Tennessee -2.5 over NYJ – wrong: 1-7

Philly -5.5 over Houston – right: 2-7

Seattle -6 over Detroit – wrong: 2-8

Chicago -3.5 over Green Bay – right: 3-8

Dallas +2 over Jacksonville – wrong: 3-9

Arizona -9 over San Francisco – wrong: 3-10

Indy -3.5 over NYG – wrong: 3-11

Washington -4.5 over Minnesota – wrong: 3-12

San Diego -3 over Oakland – right: 4-12

4-12 for the total record.  Including one miss on a Golden Bullet pick of the week.  I look forward to providing future fact checking information to the masses….in the future.

Captain