Week 5 Picks A.K.A. Welcome to Locktober

Indy – 18 over Tennessee

NYG – 5 over Washington

Carolina -7 over Cleveland

Minnesota -6 over Detroit

Nawlins -4 over Tampa

St. Louis -3 over Green Bay

Miami +9 over New England

Buffalo +10 over Chicago

NY Jets +6 over Jaxsonville

Arizona +3 over Kansas City

San Fran -3 over Oakland

Philly -2 over Dallas

San Diego -3 over Pittsburgh

Baltimore +4 over Denver

Locks of the Week: San Diego and St. Louis

State vs. FSU Preview

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this all week: When Bobby and Chuck have their traditional meal at Amedeo’s, does Bobby order the baked ziti or does he go with the lasagna?  This just seems important to me, for some reason. 

As for the game, a few quick hits:

[1] Andre Brown gets his 53 yards to put him at 1,000 for his career.  Big accomplishment for a sophomore that’s had two 200-yd plus games in his career.  Really stands out. 

[2] Deraney gets a lot of work.  Punting.

[3] Daniel Evans gets carted off in a body bag when someone on our O-line (choose one) imitates that white racist dude from Remember the Titans and steps out of the way on the snap and gives Buster Davis a blind-siding beeline to the 170-lb Evans.

[4] Chuck and Bobby meet at midfield for a pre-game smootch and then again for a post-game lovers’ embrace.

Final Score: FSU 2-0. 

Checking In Week 4

I’ll follow Slim’s rapid fire ways with my own PTI style baby.  But a quick plug for my dominating 4-0 Bears.  There, let’s go:

San Francisco +7 over Kansas City – How wrong can you be? Huard basically tea bagged the WORM for lack of faith: 0-1

San Diego -2.5 over Baltimore – Wrong again.  All hail the murderer: 0-2

Nawlins +7 over Carolina – least he could his team right: 1-2

Minnesota +1 over Buffalo – Wrong.  I wouldn’t have written anything either.  Only Luscious and his boy little Simms cared about the outcome here: 1-3

Miami -3.5 over Houston – Don’t sleep on Super Mario.  And Culpepper sucks worse than the Texans: 1-4

Indy -9 over NYJ – Wrong, even with the Colts dropping 31.  Pennington to Cotcherry all day my friend: 1-5

Tennessee +9.5 over Dallas – Holy shit, this is almost as bad a call as the KC game: 1-6

Atlanta -7.5 over Arizona – when, at least there are 2 correct picks: 2-6

St. Louis -5.5 over Detriot – OK, back to Slim’s winning ways, but a lot of ground to make up.  And Kitna is next weeks fantasy sleeper, just don’t forget who gave you the tip: 3-6

Cincinnati -6 over New England – Ouch, so much for the winning ways.  Never count out the Pats: 3-7

Jax -3 over Washington – Did the D even touch Brunell?  And portis’ return continues, helping me trample the busted ass so called “wagon”: 3-8

Cleveland -2.5 over Oakland – Right, at least we didn’t have to see Brooks this week, although Curry was sighted throwing another one in the dirt: 4-8

Chicago -2.5 over Seattle – Good pick.  Always pick my Bears: 5-8

Philly -11 over Green Bay -ends on a good note.  And I hate to say it, but Farve shouldn’t have come back: 6-8

Lead Pipe Locks: Indy, Cleveland, St. Louis, and Jacksonville: 2-2

Another lack luster effort from Calhoun here.  You would almost think that Slim’s younger brother Brian (Luke knows Brian too) beat Slim over the head and started making the picks.

Overall Record: 26-33-1

3 losing weeks out of 4.  Unless there is a drastic improvement, this group may have to revoke its endorsement of Calhoun, the betting master.  His poor picks have really been hurting the unsuspecting gamblers out there.  Let’s hope he doesn’t have another week of subpar EFFORT and performance.  Good luck SLIM.

We also have yet to have any person (Luke) step up to the plate and challenge the WORM.  I guess he is too busy chasing the co-eds around the GROVE and getting no where.  At least the WORM is man enough to submit his picks to everyone and take the abuse like a whipped man.  And he gets more than you too.

Week 4 Picks

Time is short this week, so we’ll go rapid fire.

San Francisco +7 over Kansas City: Kansas City sucks.

San Diego -2.5 over Baltimore: Would Jesus ever lose to a murderer? Didn’t think so.

Nawlins +7 over Carolina: No reason for Carolina to lose this game, but 7 is a lot of points. I’m not quite buying into the Saints yet, but the Panthers shouldn’t be giving 7 to anyone.

Minnesota +1 over Buffalo

Miami -3.5 over Houston: The Texans suck.

Indy -9 over NYJ: This line is way low. The Colts could score 35 in this one.

Tennessee +9.5 over Dallas: It’s been a long week for the Cowboys. I think the Titans keep it close.

Atlanta -7.5 over Arizona: Dunn has a big day running through Arizona’s sieve like defense.

St. Louis -5.5 over Detroit: The Lions are bad. St. Louis offense gets on track this week.

Cincinnati -6 over New England: Something isn’t right in Foxboro. The Patriots will only make the playoffs this year by default.

Jax -3 over Washington: Brunell may find Jacksonville’s defense a touch more difficult to navigate than Houston’s.

Cleveland -2.5 over Oakland: Oakland is bad. Cleveland look tough against Bmore for 30 minutes last week.

Chicago -2.5 over Seattle: Not without Alexander. Maybe not even with him.

Philly -11 over Green Bay: Fiver years ago it would’ve been suicide to go against Favre on Monday Night. Now, it’s almost a layup.

Lead Pipe Locks: Indy, Cleveland, St. Louis, Jacksonville

Checking In Week 3

Well, my Bears are 3-0, so that is nice.  Carolina finally got a win.  And The Worm gets to have his picks reviewed:

NYJ +5.5 over BUFFALO – Nice start for the WORM and for Pennington: 1-0

Cincinnati +2 over PITTSBURGH – Another good call, although I thought this was an easy one: 2-0

INDY -7 over Jacksonville – push, and the first of the year: 2-0-1

Tennessee +11 over MIAMI – Right on my man: 3-0-1

Washington -4 over HOUSTON – Can he challenge Brunell’s record?: 4-0-1

Chicago -3.5 over MINNESOTA – My Bears got the win, but sadly didn’t cover, sorry about that: 4-1-1

Carolina -3 over TAMPA BAY – 2 goods things from the Panthers: Kasey, and they learned how to hit (ask Luke’s boy’s spleen): 4-2-1

Green Bay +6.5 over DETROIT – just by a nose, thank Favre: 5-2-1

Baltimore -6.5 over CLEVELAND – took a 4th quarter flourish for the win, but no cover: 5-3-1

Arizona -4.5 over St. Louis – Warner is the man: 5-4-1

New York Giants +3.5 over SEATTLE – not so fast my friend, Seattle made it look easy getting points this week, and thanks Lee: 5-5-1

Illadelph -6 over San Francisco – Good call, but what does beat the brakes off actually mean?: 6-5-1

NEW ENGLAND -7 over Denver – hahaha, Belicheck’s ego has finally caught up with him: 6-6-1

ATLANTA -3.5 over New Orleans – Umm NO.  I’m not big into the wole rebuilding NO thing, but ATL got taken to the woodshed: 6-7-1

Lead Pipe Locks: Baltimore, Philly and Atlanta : 1-2 Pretty lackluster here again this week.  You shouldn;t be missing the locks because, well, they are locks.

Overall record: 20-25-1

Another losing week.  This of course is unacceptableExpect some improvement or perhaps you will see Slim visiting your local church for a free meal.  And I wouldn’t follow the Locks until Calhoun gets his leprechaun back.

In a new section, we ask for the great WORM to comment on his winning or losing of actual money each week.  Please note that the WORM doesn’t just do this for fun.  He actually bets, as all self-respecting men should.

In fantasy news. Portis made his comeback this week and I continued the vernable JD’s losing streak.  Long live Chris Simms’ spleen.

Quick Outs

With 00:46 to play Saturday night, Daniel Evans was largely unremarkable at 12-for-27 for 107 measely yards and one undeniably crucial interception deep in his own territory with just three minutes to play.

These are the stats that get you benched and make the seat even hotter for your egomaniac of a coach.  The fans lose whatever hope they had left.  There’s really only one way to make people forget how bad your numbers really were.

Lead a game-winning drive and lay the groundwork for becoming a Legend. 

No one will remember that the under-sized hometown kid who grew up rooting for the Pack had completed only 44% of his passes until that final drive.  And no one will ever care.

Because when it was over, our new team leader had produced gaudy numbers of 15-for-32 for 179 yards and most of all, The Touchdown that none of us who saw it will ever forget. 

I’ve been a State fan my entire life.  I can likely recap every game we’ve played since around 1991 or so with reasonable accuracy (I’ll save that for my book).  I’ve seen some great game-winning drives by some pretty damn good quarterbacks like Montgomery, Harvey, and Barnette, as well as the expected masterful drives by the Football Jesus, but in all my years, I’d never seen a quarterback lead us to victory on the final offensive play of the game like Daniel Evans did against Boston College. 

So now let’s hope we find some semblance of an O-line before we’re carting our New Hero off the field on a stretcher when Florida State comes to town. 

I’d also like to add that even in victory Chuck Amato made questionable decisions.  After that final touchdown, there is absolutely no $^&* reason for kicking a PAT.  Nothing good can come from it.  A two-point lead is no different in any way than a one-point lead and all you do by kicking that PAT is give BC an opportunity to block it and return it for two points and the 17-16 victory.  It happens; I was at an App St./Furman game several years ago where Furman scored with 0:03 to play for a 15-14 lead and opted to go for two to make it a FG game; App interecepted the ensuing pass and returned it 100 yards for the 18-17 victory.  With the new clock rules in place this season, what we should have done was snap the ball, take a knee and then kick off and make the tackle.  There wasn’t enough time to return it and get into FG range, so all we did by kicking that PAT was take a huge gamble.  It worked this time…but what happens against FSU?  Just saying.