TNL Countdown to Football, Part 8

This was only one of two TNLs for the 2004 season; I actually missed the Ohio State, Wake Forest, Florida State, and ECU games that year.  Remember how good Jay Davis was going to be?  TNL never did live up to the hype bestowed upon its first volume in 2003.  Perhaps expectations were just too high.  Perhaps it just got too big too fast.  Regardless, that jeans shorts picture never stops being funny… 

The Tailgating newsletter: 2004 summer special
“We only ask because we care”
Volume 2, Issue 1
July 13, 2004
Cary

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR TAILGATING PRESIDENT
It was indeed a tremendous honor for me and J.R. Crawford to humbly accept the nomination to serve again in 2004 as your Tailgating President and Vice President, respectively, at the Second Annual Tropical Shindig held at longtime supporter Ben Crawford’s modest home in Cary, NC.

As promised in the acceptance speech (inset) and subsequent rally, we promise to promote the core values that this great tailgating conference holds so dear.  I promise to you that I will do all that is in my power to ensure that the deep-fried turkey is moist and tender and flavorful and that there is more shrimp than Old Bay; I will make every effort to ensure that the coolers remain full of icy cold beer and that we have plenty of ice for those dreaded ninety-five degree afternoons; I will make it my personal duty to make sure Jacob (“Hey, take my picture!”) is in every single picture taken at all tailgates, because everyone knows that a drunk Jacob makes for wonderful entertainment.
 
But most of all, I promise to try and make every tailgate into a memorable memory to be remembered by many.  And we will strive to document those memorable memories of yonder autumn winds gone by in the weekly editions of The Tailgating Newsletter. 

Furthermore, I promise to take TNL to another level and become the most ground-breaking independent tailgating publication in East-Central North Carolina.  We’ve spent the summer lining up a series of guest columnists – football insiders – for the season’s regular weekly publications, and we are very excited to have them aboard the TNL team. 

The first of those guest columnists contributed to this issue, the TNL Summer Special.  She is on loan from the NC State Sports Information Department and she has an inspiring story about a relative unknown recruiting prospect that I hope you’ll find fascinating and moving. 

We’re also excited to have several other ideas that will turn up in future issues that we here on the TNL staff hope you’ll find exciting as well.  And of course you can expect to see some of the same crowd favorites that made TNL the industry-respected publication it is today.

But in the end, it’s the tailgaters – the little people like each of you – that subscribe to TNL that make tailgating the great American festival that it is.  Jacob and I will do everything in our power to make our Tailgating Conference strong at home and well-respected abroad.  We are both veteran tailgaters and we know what it takes to make tailgating wonderful.  We are honored that you have once again placed your confidence in us.

Remember, ask not what your fellow tailgaters can do for you; ask what you can do for your fellow tailgaters.  I’m R.L. Bentley, III, and I approved this message.

R.L. Bentley, III, MD, PhD
Tailgating President
Chief of Neurosurgery, Wilkes Hospital
 
PRESEASON FOOTBALL DIARY
By Annabelle Vaughan

I can’t believe football season is less than two months away!!  I’m trying to get used to this summer schedule and the heat is so intense; I had to pour water all over myself and let it run down my body, even though I was wearing a white T-shirt (none of the guys minded).  The freshmen haven’t even reported yet, but it already sounds different out here.  These guys are making a lot noise for me.

I spent time watching the quarterbacks today – there is a lot of talent out there.  In an underdog story that could rival Rudy and Hoosiers, a British-Canadian named Matthew Edwards will vie for the coveted starting quarterback position for Chuck Amato’s fifth squad.  Edwards, a virtual no-name outside of his local North Carolina Audi club, has never played organized football in his life, but feels like he has the heart and drive to secure a slot on the roster and hopes to one day be under center for the Wolfpack.
 
His delivery is eerily similar to Philip Rivers’ and Coach says it could pay off come fall.  “This kid could really be something special,” Coach said in his usual raspy voice, “No one thought Philip would amount to anything either…but daggummit, and I can’t say this enough: we have to start tackling better.”

Edwards’ inexperience and size, though, could prove quite the hindrance in the long run.  At 5’10”/155, Edwards doesn’t quite match up to Rivers in size; nor does he measure up well against front-runners Jay Davis (JR, 6’2”/205) and Marcus Stone (RS FR, 6’4”/226), for that matter.  But what amazes me is the size of his hands – they’re so big!

Recruiting expert James Henderson says he’s never even heard of Edwards.  “We at Statefans.com know everything about anything NC State sports related, but somehow this kid has slipped under the radar.  I found out about him on a post buried in some thread titled I heard from a good source that Sendek was the Lakers’ first choice and was just about to lock it when someone slipped in a post about him.  We hope to have a recruiting bio on him though in the new Pack Pride magazine.”

Of course, the biggest concern at this time for the Wolfpack staff isn’t Edwards’ size, but his eligibility: Edwards has already graduated from college and by NCAA rules has no eligibility remaining.  NC State Director of Compliance, Michelle Lee, has already filed the necessary paperwork to petition the NCAA for an extension of eligibility based on an obscure hardship rule; apparently Edwards didn’t realize his dream was to play college football until after he had already graduated.  The ACLU has joined the fight and his chances are promising.  We hope to have a stirring update when the season starts.

Tomorrow: Independent workouts at one of the guy’s houses

PROFILES IN DRUNKENNESS: SECOND ANNUAL TROPICAL SHINDIG
There are times when words will just not suffice.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and yet I’m speechless.

A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
I would like to extend a special thanks to all the fellow tailgaters that were trying, in their own less-than-subtle ways, to help me “get some ass” on Saturday night at The Shindig…  I’d like to thank each of you for ignoring me when I pleaded with you to relax, calm down, and let me handle it on my own; instead ya’ll surmised that my way was not, indeed, the best course of action and could in no way be in my best interest. 

I’d like to offer my sincere gratitude to Jacob for taking it upon himself to loudly and repeatedly inform everyone within earshot to be quiet or go outside because I was “trying to get some ass;” as benign and wholehearted as his efforts were, even at a distance of ten feet his voice somehow, as inexplicable as it might be, transcended through the soundproof, wooden door of my bedroom.  Thank you, Ben, for unselfishly telling Matt you had to close the computer room door because I needed some privacy because I was trying to “get some,” while said “give some” girl was coming out of the bathroom two feet behind you.  Gracias, Shawn, for pulling me to the side on at least five occasions to inform me just how disappointed you’d be in me if I didn’t “close” (once with her right beside me).  Worm, I appreciate you proclaiming to all who would listen that I was “getting served.”  And I’d like to bestow a very special Kiss My Ass to Nate II for informing me that, while married, he still has better game than me.

I’d like to thank you all for instilling in me a poignant laugh while in a room alone with a girl who had come into my room and shut the door.  While we both listened to ya’ll and joked about it, even trying to feed the frenzy a little, she may have realized that I was a little pathetic and was likely good friend material, but I knew better: I knew that I had some drunk ass friends who in their own way were just looking out for me.  With friends like them, who needs enemies?

But please, while your fascination with my love life, or lack thereof, is flattering, please know that I have things under control.  And please for the love of honoring the process, don’t help me anymore! 

Lucas Miller
2003 Herb Sendek Award for Excellence Recipient

IN CLOSING
It’s been a long off-season and you can’t quite yet smell those dog days of summer when the two-a-days kick back into high gear and the days get shorter, but it is coming.  So until then we’ll just bide our time by watching old game tapes and ESPN Classic.  And while uncertainties abound for the 2004 Wolfpack on the field, we can all be certain that the tailgating will be plentiful and exhilarating.  Folks, we’re staring down the loaded barrel of probably the greatest home schedule in NC State history and as the intensity of the competition heats up, we have to match that intensity in our own little way by taking our festivities up another notch. 

And remember, I’m not just the tailgating president, I’m also a member.

– R.L.