Section 30’s Official Stance on Wolfpack Coach Chuck Amato

After much deliberation and intoxication, we here at Section 30 are ready to weigh-in on the “internet rumors” of Chuck Amato being on the “hot seat.” We here at Section 30 strenuously object to the heating of Coach Amato’s seat. Coach Amato’s performance over the past 3 years in no way warrants a “hot” seat.

Here at Section 30, we feel that Chuck’s seat status be immediately changed from “hot” to “empty.”

For the sake our program, our nerves, and our unrelenting desire to make it through a football game with cursing the heavens, we feel that Chuck Amato should be removed from his position as head coach of the NC State Wolfpack and resume his position as spokesperson/figurehead of the McDonald’s fast food restaurant chain.

-Section 30

4 thoughts on “Section 30’s Official Stance on Wolfpack Coach Chuck Amato”

  1. To uphold Section 30’s integrity, let it be known that Slim speaks for the entire staff. We have a reputation to uphold, afterall. Especially now that we have actual readers (thanks, Amit).

  2. I was just struck by a completely random memory that adds to Slim’s credibility as a spokesman for Section 30.

    Around this time last year, Slim and his lovely companion, Slimanda, were staying at the Doc’s palacial estate in Cary, NC. After Slimanda retired to the East Wing for the evening, Doc and Slim watched the pilot episode of MacGyver on DVD.

    In the opening gambit, MacGyver is trying to retrieve the top secret arming system of a missile the Chinese have remarkably salvaged from a downed American jet fighter atop a large mountain “somewhere in southeast Asia.” In the process of infiltrating the enemy encampment and taking out a guard, he discovers that the pilot had indeed survived and was being held captive: “They didn’t tell me there were any survivors — the missile, which tent?” While the pilot is cutting himself from his cage with MacGyver’s trusty Swiss Army knife — “I want that knife back ya know” — MacGyver retrieves the arming system from the missile and sets a distraction to prelude their escape. Before he can make a rocket thruster to propel them off the cliff top, as they are being chased, MacGyver fires, at the enemy pursuers, the AK-47 he had confiscated earlier from the Chinese guard he had taken out.

    As it is well-known, MacGyver was adamantly anti-gun. So the Good Doc wryly notes: “Not many people know that Macgyver fired a gun in the first episode.”

    To which Slim replied: “And even fewer people actually care.”

    Maybe you just had to be there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *