Month: September 2006

Time is short this week, so we’ll go rapid fire.

San Francisco +7 over Kansas City: Kansas City sucks.

San Diego -2.5 over Baltimore: Would Jesus ever lose to a murderer? Didn’t think so.

Nawlins +7 over Carolina: No reason for Carolina to lose this game, but 7 is a lot of points. I’m not quite buying into the Saints yet, but the Panthers shouldn’t be giving 7 to anyone.

Minnesota +1 over Buffalo

Miami -3.5 over Houston: The Texans suck.

Indy -9 over NYJ: This line is way low. The Colts could score 35 in this one.

Tennessee +9.5 over Dallas: It’s been a long week for the Cowboys. I think the Titans keep it close.

Atlanta -7.5 over Arizona: Dunn has a big day running through Arizona’s sieve like defense.

St. Louis -5.5 over Detroit: The Lions are bad. St. Louis offense gets on track this week.

Cincinnati -6 over New England: Something isn’t right in Foxboro. The Patriots will only make the playoffs this year by default.

Jax -3 over Washington: Brunell may find Jacksonville’s defense a touch more difficult to navigate than Houston’s.

Cleveland -2.5 over Oakland: Oakland is bad. Cleveland look tough against Bmore for 30 minutes last week.

Chicago -2.5 over Seattle: Not without Alexander. Maybe not even with him.

Philly -11 over Green Bay: Fiver years ago it would’ve been suicide to go against Favre on Monday Night. Now, it’s almost a layup.

Lead Pipe Locks: Indy, Cleveland, St. Louis, Jacksonville

Well, my Bears are 3-0, so that is nice.  Carolina finally got a win.  And The Worm gets to have his picks reviewed:

NYJ +5.5 over BUFFALO – Nice start for the WORM and for Pennington: 1-0

Cincinnati +2 over PITTSBURGH – Another good call, although I thought this was an easy one: 2-0

INDY -7 over Jacksonville – push, and the first of the year: 2-0-1

Tennessee +11 over MIAMI – Right on my man: 3-0-1

Washington -4 over HOUSTON – Can he challenge Brunell’s record?: 4-0-1

Chicago -3.5 over MINNESOTA – My Bears got the win, but sadly didn’t cover, sorry about that: 4-1-1

Carolina -3 over TAMPA BAY – 2 goods things from the Panthers: Kasey, and they learned how to hit (ask Luke’s boy’s spleen): 4-2-1

Green Bay +6.5 over DETROIT – just by a nose, thank Favre: 5-2-1

Baltimore -6.5 over CLEVELAND – took a 4th quarter flourish for the win, but no cover: 5-3-1

Arizona -4.5 over St. Louis – Warner is the man: 5-4-1

New York Giants +3.5 over SEATTLE – not so fast my friend, Seattle made it look easy getting points this week, and thanks Lee: 5-5-1

Illadelph -6 over San Francisco – Good call, but what does beat the brakes off actually mean?: 6-5-1

NEW ENGLAND -7 over Denver – hahaha, Belicheck’s ego has finally caught up with him: 6-6-1

ATLANTA -3.5 over New Orleans – Umm NO.  I’m not big into the wole rebuilding NO thing, but ATL got taken to the woodshed: 6-7-1

Lead Pipe Locks: Baltimore, Philly and Atlanta : 1-2 Pretty lackluster here again this week.  You shouldn;t be missing the locks because, well, they are locks.

Overall record: 20-25-1

Another losing week.  This of course is unacceptableExpect some improvement or perhaps you will see Slim visiting your local church for a free meal.  And I wouldn’t follow the Locks until Calhoun gets his leprechaun back.

In a new section, we ask for the great WORM to comment on his winning or losing of actual money each week.  Please note that the WORM doesn’t just do this for fun.  He actually bets, as all self-respecting men should.

In fantasy news. Portis made his comeback this week and I continued the vernable JD’s losing streak.  Long live Chris Simms’ spleen.

With 00:46 to play Saturday night, Daniel Evans was largely unremarkable at 12-for-27 for 107 measely yards and one undeniably crucial interception deep in his own territory with just three minutes to play.

These are the stats that get you benched and make the seat even hotter for your egomaniac of a coach.  The fans lose whatever hope they had left.  There’s really only one way to make people forget how bad your numbers really were.

Lead a game-winning drive and lay the groundwork for becoming a Legend. 

No one will remember that the under-sized hometown kid who grew up rooting for the Pack had completed only 44% of his passes until that final drive.  And no one will ever care.

Because when it was over, our new team leader had produced gaudy numbers of 15-for-32 for 179 yards and most of all, The Touchdown that none of us who saw it will ever forget. 

I’ve been a State fan my entire life.  I can likely recap every game we’ve played since around 1991 or so with reasonable accuracy (I’ll save that for my book).  I’ve seen some great game-winning drives by some pretty damn good quarterbacks like Montgomery, Harvey, and Barnette, as well as the expected masterful drives by the Football Jesus, but in all my years, I’d never seen a quarterback lead us to victory on the final offensive play of the game like Daniel Evans did against Boston College. 

So now let’s hope we find some semblance of an O-line before we’re carting our New Hero off the field on a stretcher when Florida State comes to town. 

I’d also like to add that even in victory Chuck Amato made questionable decisions.  After that final touchdown, there is absolutely no $^&* reason for kicking a PAT.  Nothing good can come from it.  A two-point lead is no different in any way than a one-point lead and all you do by kicking that PAT is give BC an opportunity to block it and return it for two points and the 17-16 victory.  It happens; I was at an App St./Furman game several years ago where Furman scored with 0:03 to play for a 15-14 lead and opted to go for two to make it a FG game; App interecepted the ensuing pass and returned it 100 yards for the 18-17 victory.  With the new clock rules in place this season, what we should have done was snap the ball, take a knee and then kick off and make the tackle.  There wasn’t enough time to return it and get into FG range, so all we did by kicking that PAT was take a huge gamble.  It worked this time…but what happens against FSU?  Just saying.

Will he part the sea of troubled waters at NC State? Only time will tell.

The NFL was scared and didn’t let him play this week.

There has never been a better example of why we love the NFL than could be experienced last weekend. In week one we were full of hope for the new season that’s to be filled with fantasy football championships and wheelbarrows full of cash from offshore gambling websites. Well, that’s not even close to what transpired. The weekend ended with an 0-2 fantasy record and me making yet another deposit into by BetUS.com account.

Then the tide turned. Week 2 saw an explosion of fortune for the kid as he pouned out wins in both fantasy leagues and managed to hit a 3 team teaser.

So here we are, at Week 3 with the Worm hitting his stride. Hitch your wagon while you can, we can only go up from here.

NYJ +5.5 over BUFFALO: The Bills were impressive last week, but they aren’t good enough to be giving 5.5 to anyone.

Cincinnati +2 over PITTSBURGH: The Steelers just didn’t look good in Week 2. Big Ben looked shaky against the Jags and the Bengals are no slouches. The Bengals also have motivation, they’ll be looking for some revenge after last year’s playoff loss.

INDY -7 over Jacksonville: I think Peyton and the Colts get really lucky here. They catch the Jags in the Dome in what could very well be a hangover game after the Jag’s coming out party on Monday night.

Tennessee +11 over MIAMI: Is there a more over-rated team in the league right now than Miami? Well, besides the Panthers. At least the Panther’s aren’t laying 11. I don’t want to say Miami’s in the tank, but Dolphin fans are about a week away from begging for Joey Harrington.

Washington -4 over HOUSTON: The man has 2 Super Bowl rings, the highest paid coaching staff in history, and he’s only giving 4 to Houston, a team that’s given up 67 points in 2 games? Anyone have Mark Rypien’s number handy?

Chicago -3.5 over MINNESOTA: Minnesota’s O Line showed some weakness last week against the Panthers. This week they’ll play a team that good enough to exploit it.

Carolina -3 over TAMPA BAY: Honestly I have no clue. The mitigating factor in this one has to be Chris Simms, who’s suddenly morphed into an old Brett Favre.

Green Bay +6.5 over DETROIT: Signs of life from #4 last week. I think he finds a way to get it done in Detroit this week, take the Packers straight up in this one.

Baltimore -6.5 over CLEVELAND: BMore has been very efficient this year. They’ve given up only one trash time TD and are able to put up points this year. That, and Cleveland still sucks.

Arizona -4.5 over St. Louis: This is another that could go either way. I think this plays out a lot like last week’s game between the Rams and Niners. For what ever reason, the Rams just don’t have the offense anymore. The Cardinals should be able to put up enough points to put the St. Lunatics at 1-2.

New York Giants +3.5 over SEATTLE: Another upset pick. Seattle has had a hard time getting points this year and the Giants have the best defense that the Seadogs will have faced up to this point. The Giants are riding high after last weeks big comeback. Look for the Giants to take this one straight up.

Illadelph -6 over San Francisco: Here’s the one I don’t understand. Philly bounces back and beats the brakes off the Niners.

NEW ENGLAND -7 over Denver: I can’t figure Denver out. They haven’t been able to move the ball yet against two bad teams. I don’t think they’ll do it this week either. New England is 2-0, but no overly impressive in doing it. Tom Terriffic Strikes again.

ATLANTA -3.5 over New Orleans: I’ve heard numerous pundits picking the Saints in this one. It’s the first game back in the Superdome and it’s so great for the city of New Orleans. Too bad Atlanta doesn’t care about any of that. The Falcons have the best ground game in the L and haven’t given up a TD yet. The Saints just don’t have enough to get it done.

Lead Pipe Locks: Baltimore, Philly and Atlanta

Let’s see how the ultimate gambler fared in week 2.  As you can see from his post, he liked the blowouts this week.  Please keep in mind that one should always gamble, on every game, even if one decides not to use Slim’s picks.  Without further adieu:

Balitimore -11.5 over OAKLAND – Right on my man.  Blowout #1 : 1-0

INDY -13 over Houston – Another good pick in blowout #2 : 2-0

CINCY -10 over Cleveland – solid pick in blowout #3: 3-0

Buffalo +6.5 over Miami – uh oh.  I hope you guys bet with Mr. Calhoun: 4-0

Detroit +9 over CHICAGO – First mistake…sleeping on my Bears..back on my mid 90’s teams : 4-1

Carolina -1 over MINNESOTA – OT, I think the indians snuck through : 4-2

New York Giants +3 over Philly – OT, Nice pick in a hard game to handicap: 5-2

Tampa +5.5 over ATLANTA – not quite : 5-3

Nawlins -2.5 over GREEN BAY – nice pick.  NO might be fun to watch this year : 6-3

St. Louis -3 over SAN FRANCISCO – wrong: 6-4

SEATTLE -7 over Arizona – can’t pick against the hawks: 7-4

NYJ +6 over the Patriots - No Sir maintain 2 above even: 7-5

FOOTBALL JESUS -11 over Tennessee – right pick and analysis right on: 8-5

DENVER -10.5 over Kansas City – OT, kept it close even without Green: 8-6

DALLAS -6 over Washington – Nice pick to finish Sunday 3 above: 9-6

JAX +2 over Pittsburgh – right on.  Nice upset pick: 10-6

Lead Pipe Locks: Cincy, BMore, and NYJ – (2-1) decent on the locks, but we are expecting a perfect record here.

Overall record: 14-18

Nice comeback by Slim.  Had several nice picks and was relatively accurate.  Of note, Calhoun was 1-2 in the overtime games.  Also of note, Clinton Portis killed my fantasy team this week.  Bastard.

Football Jesus, aka Philip Rivers, led the Chargers to a 40-7 victory over the Titans.

Here’s what comes to mind after a near-perfect Saturday with picture-in-picture and a fridge full of beer…

The Auburn victory over LSU was by far the best 7-3 game I’ve ever seen.  It proves why SEC football will always be so great to watch, even when no one scores.  Those were two physical teams with stingy defenses and hard-nosed, between-the-tackles offenses; say what you will about SEC power football, but that game was more enjoyable than any West Coast game I’ve seen this year.  Auburn will win the SEC hands-down and this time they won’t get snubbed by the BCS.

My Sooners got hosed twice in the last minute of their game against Oregon.  I think replay in college football stinks, if only because it fails to work way too often, and always when the game is on the line.  If you’re going to institute replay in college football, at least have competent officials reviewing the video.  The onside kick review was conclusive from every angle, and yet the referee announced it was “conclusive” in the wrong direction.  The pass interference call where the ball was apparently tipped at the line looked obvious, but was arguably inconclusive.  Even still, Oregon scored twice in the final two minutes and blocked the potential winning field goal to stay undefeated.  

While Brady Quinn can likely forget his NYC invite to the Heisman Trophy ceremony in December, the Irish aren’t out of the hunt for a national championship just yet; it will be very difficult for any team to finish undefeated this season.  However, next up for the Irish is a road trip to Michigan State, who played a solid and complete game in its victory over Pitt Saturday.  A loss to the Spartans will certainly have Notre Dame looking at a second-tier bowl.

Conversely, Michigan was impressive all-around and is a contender as well.  They appear to have fixed their offensive issues from 2005 and they have a favorable schedule with Wisconsin (next week), Iowa, and Michigan State at home.  That finale in Columbus will be huge, as usual.

Clemson did what they do best, play inconsistent football.  The best part of that whole game was Tommy Bowden saying at halftime that he wouldn’t kick again for any reason.  The solution to a winning field goal?  Running the ball in for a touchdown from the one yard line with 0:08 to play.  They kept their ACC title hopes alive, but will need help; Boston College, who needed 2OT again against BYU, will have to lose twice.

Chris Leak played with poise and finesse against Tennessee, and the Gators look tough and should be in everyone’s national championship conversations…Nebraska may be better, but they are definitely not back, which is understandable with a playbook where every audible is a short essay…USC is definitely a contender, especially in a per-usual lopsided PAC-10…TCU held Texas Tech to a field goal, which is absolutely mesmorizing…

And last, and certainly least, a call into Terry Harvey’s post-game call-in show:

Caller: “Terry, is it possible that Southern Miss is just significantly better than what we thought?”

Terry: “No.”

As the Captain so eloquently stated earlier in the week, I humped the dog and went 4-12 last week. However, I was 1-1 on my confidence picks. I’ll take that for week one. The first week is always rough, no matter what sport. Only a love for gambling would cause someone to be dumb enough to lay lumber during week one. All of that aside, I plan to launch the comeback this week. On to the picks. A lot of the favorites are playing at home this week causing a lot of big lines. Let’s see how it plays out.
Balitimore -11.5 over OAKLAND: I believe Sabo put it the best, “Stephen Hawking would make a better QB than Aaron Brooks.” The Ravens are 6-1 SU and ATS in their last 7 against the Raiders. Take the Ravens in a romp.

INDY -13 over Houston: The Colts had problems stopping the Giants on the ground, but Samkon Gado is no Tiki Barber. The Tejans couldn’t cover Donte Stallworth so I doubt they have an answer for Marvin and Reggie.

CINCY -10 over Cleveland: The Bengals put the hammer to the Cheifs without much help from Palmer. They’ll get it going this week at home.

Buffalo +6.5 over Miami: The Fish are 0 for their last 4 ATS against the Bills. If Buffalo’s D can cause problems for Tom Terrific, then they should have Saban ready to kill Culpepper by the 3rd quarter.

Detroit +9 over CHICAGO: The Bears win this one, but Detroit is decent enough to keep it close.

Carolina -1 over MINNESOTA: This one will be interesting. Based on Week 1, the Vikes should roll, but you can’t bet against John Fox after a loss. No one circles the wagons like Coach Fox.

New York Giants +3 over Philly: The Eagles are 5-1 ATS against the Eagles over the past 3 years, but this game is almost a must win for the Giants. If they lose this one, they drop to 0-2 with a trip to Seattle looming. I think they find a way to win.

Tampa +5.5 over ATLANTA: Classic case of one team not being nearly as bad as they looked playing another team that isn’t anywhere near as good as they looked. Don’t let Week 1 fool you. The Bucs are 5-1 ATS in their last 6 at Atlanta.

Nawlins -2.5 over GREEN BAY: It’s gone get ugly.

St. Louis -3 over SAN FRANCISCO: The Niners have a good history ATS vs. the Rams, but the Rams defense looked stout. With Will Witherspoon clogging up the middle, they’ll keep Frank Gore under control. Take the Rams and lay the 3.

SEATTLE -7 over Arizona: Shaun Alexander gets it going against a defense that gave up 600 yards to Frank Gore. Seattle wins this one in a shoot out.

NYJ +6 over the Patriots: This is a tough one to call. The Patriots were dogs last week and the Jets looked good, but Kerry Collins is no Tom Brady. There’s also a distinct possibility that the Pats just aren’t as good as people think.

FOOTBALL JESUS -11 over Tennessee: Young Man Rivers makes his home debut against the Titans. With this schedule, he may not have to complete his 50th pass until sometime in October.

DENVER -10.5 over Kansas City: The Cheifs get shredded again this week while Herm Edwards starts wishing he was back in Jersey.

DALLAS -6 over Washington: Both teams lost their openers so the loser of this one goes 0-2 and puts themselves in a hole. The Cowboys should be able to move the ball better this week and I’m not sure if the Redskins offense can keep up. However, if the Skins can get to Bledsoe and force a few more interceptions, the Romo Watch will officially be on.

JAX +2 over Pittsburgh: Upset of the week. Both teams looked good last weekend, but I think this is the year Jax makes a statement. The offense looked solid against a decent Dallas defense and their defense has been good for a while. Meanwhile the Steelers still don’t know who’s going to start the game at QB. Also, the Jags are 8-2 ATS in their past 10 vs. the Steel Curtain, so they’ve got that going for them. Which is nice.

Lead Pipe Locks: Cincy, BMore, and NYJ