Terror Plot Averted In Downtown San Diego

(AP) SAN DIEGO. A terrorist plot was foiled this morning by what eye-witnesses called a ‘superhero.’

Around 10:30 AM drivers along San Diego’s Interstate 5 noticed a black helicopter circling the downtown area. Witnesses at first believed it to be a news helicopter, but after getting a closer look, it was clear that the helicopter was solid black with what appeared to be rockets mounted on the side. Then, the unthinkable occurred.

According to witness accounts, there was a loud humming sound, followed by a trail of smoke moving away from the helicopter. The suspicious vehicle had launched a rocket directly into the downtown area. Just as the rocket was about to strike a building, an unidentified fly object hurled towards the rocket and seemingly caught it in mid-air. Based on interviews with witnesses, the unidentified flying object appeared to be human-like.

The super-human form carried the rocket out to see where it could be detonated safely. He then flew back into the city, snatched the helicopter and began to devour it along with the terrorists inside. The entire event lasted no longer than a minute.

After the threat had been averted, the figure then flew back out to sea and performed CPR on the marine animals that were injured during the detonation of the rocket. Police say the casualties are at 2 terrorists, 1 porpoise, and 4 starfish, but could have been much worse.

“It was the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Tyler Durden, a witness to this morning’s events. When asked what the person looked like, Durden replied “He was at least 15 feet tall” and was wearing powder blue cape with the #17 printed on it.

More details to follow.