The United States has played 2 games and scored one goal. They wouldn’t have scored that one if Manu Ginobli’s twin brother hadn’t booted the ball into his own goal, and the US is supposed to be the 5th ranked team in the world?
Based on my extensive knowledge of soccer and my keen observation of the World Cup this far, I have come up with my own “Futbol Top 10”
1. Germany – They have home field advantage in the biggest soccer tournament there is, they must’ve had some kind of regular season.
2. Brazil – Because they usually win
3. Argentina – My boy Pablo was from Argentina and he was the best soccer player I’ve ever known. Then again I didn’t have many friends that played soccer, mostly because I didn’t enjoy licking balls or getting my ass kicked.
4. Czech Republic – They beat the US so they must be the best EVAR!!!1!
5. United States – U S A U S A U S A!!!!
6. UNC-CH Girls Team – Thanks Beautiful
7. The Atanta Braves – They’ve kicked the ball around with such proclivity this summer.
8. Wilkes Central High School
9. Sisters of the Poor
10. My 4 year old cousin’s YMCA team
Just to clarify, it would be the Wilkes Central High School ladies team. They were good enough to lose a couple of state title games they apparently should have won according to the Wilkes Journal-Patriot (at least that’s what all the talk of the town was; not too many people that hadn’t swapped bodily fluids with or parented one of them actually gave a shit).
I remember when Wings of Wilkes started up with about 5 different teams — named after their color (red wings, blue wings, etc) — sometime around third or fourth grade. Even then, at that fragile and innocent age, we all knew that the kids playing soccer, with the exception of the Mexican kids, were only playing because they couldn’t hit a baseball or dribble a basketball. These were easily identified because for the most part they were the same kids whose mom’s were always at the school even though none of them worked there.
Now, I was possibly one of the least athletic people in The Great State of Wilkes, and even I wouldn’t stoop to soccer. I also remember them trying to shove it down our throats just like ESPN is doing now, and so we’d have special field days and we’d play soccer; it was like revenge on those of us that played real sports, because they’d always put us on one of those sideline positions where you could only move like twenty feet and the ball never came to you.
I didn’t understand why then, but I do now. It’s like driving by a park on a Sunday afternoon and seeing Mexicans playing 30-on-30 volleyball: everyone can participate and when you put the entire fourth-grade class out there, no one really has a chance to shine, so even the kid that had beat Metroid 100 times felt like he was a good soccer player.
Game Summary of Switzerland vs. Togo
17′ (SUI) Alexander Frei scores a good goal from left goalbox left low with his right foot
45′ (TOG) Moustapha Salifou is awarded a yellow card for unsportsmanlike behaviour
47′ (TOG) Emmanuel Adebayor is awarded a yellow card for unsportsmanlike behaviour
52′ (TOG) Alaixys Romao is awarded a yellow card for unsportsmanlike behaviour
88′ (SUI) Tranquillo Barnetta scores a good goal from right penalty area left low with his right foot
90′ (SUI) Johann Vogel is awarded a yellow card (dissent)
FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s better than watching two people play catch, er, I mean a baseball game.