I should think not. And yes, that is drool (and Gary minus about 40 pounds). This is what happens when you have 20 shots. Too bad this pussy couldn’t get one more down.
This is to celebrate becoming a little more of the man and a little less of a slave.
Congrats drool king.
Coach Cal,
Let me start by thanking you for getting the Wolfpack nation excited about basketball unlike we have been for 20 years. Your flirtation with becoming the next NC State head coach awakened a spirit in us that only a coach of your caliber could. You could have come here and been king. The press conference to announce your hiring would probably have been standing room only, every home game would have been packed, and we’d have hung on your every word. You could have come and competed against the best coaches in the country night after night in the ACC. You could have proved yourself to be one of the best coaches in the country on a national stage.
Unfortunately for you, you chose to stay at Memphis. You chose to stay in the comfortable confines of Conference USA where you battle against the likes of UAB. You chose to have people question if you could ever hack it in a major conference, well, I guess we’ll never know. I hope that you’re comfortable there because after this past weekend you’ll never be able to leave.
Most of all I’d like to thank you for not becoming our next coach. We don’t need someone to come here with any kind of second thoughts. We need someone who wants to compete against the best and isn’t scared to do so on a nightly basis. Basically we need someone who isn’t you.
I’m sure our new coach, whoever he may be, will thank you for awakening the spirit and passion that we’ll follow him with. Just think: if you weren’t scared it could have been you.
Wagon.
Rick,
Does this mean we are no longer friends? Why, if I thought you weren’t my friend, I just don’t think I could bear it.
Doc.
Rick,
We’re now in need of a coach – well, officially anyway; we’ve been in need of a coach the better part of a decade. But I digress. Anyway, Rick, I’d like to extend a personal invitation to you to come help us out up here in the heart of Tobacco Road. How about it, partner?
Look, you know Raleigh is just a short two-hour Friday evening stroll up I-40 from your hometown of Hickory. I even feel like we have a connection, because I myself lived in Hickory for a while as well and grew up not too far from there. C’mon, Rick, this is big-time college basketball, what else can you ask for? You know what I’m talking about.
I mean, sure, Texas has become a national powerhouse, but c’mon Cowboy, saddle up and come on home to where college basketball is King. In Texas, basketball is all hat and no cattle; think what you could be at State! I mean, look how State fans are: we’re intensely loyal, almost to a fault. You could own Raleigh, absolutely own it. Just beat Roy.
I like you, buddy, and regardless of what you might have heard, that carries quite a bit of merit around North Carolina. I mean, I want your attitude. Remember how you told you boys at Clemson to go out and be mother f-bombers against Duke? I want that; we need that. I want guys that drive and fight and scrap and push and shove and box out and push the ball in transition; I want six-ten guys that play like six-ten guys. I want someone to make Ced a beast. You never backed down to Dean or K and you won at Clemson. Good enough for me.
I want that swagger you brought to Clemson – a lowly football school. You built them into a force to be reckoned with. Imagine how big you could be at a basketball school. Plus, you’d have an immediate opportunity to defend your honor. Didn’t you hear what Roy said about you after the 2003 National Championship game? “I don’t give a shit about [Rick Barnes].†You’re not gonna take that from him are you, Cowboy?
Then there’s the Hickory Factor; the beautiful western North Carolina foothills. You were raised there; you went to Lenoir-Rhyne; coached at Davidson. You’re mom worked in a textile factory there – I myself worked in the furniture industry for a while, so we understand each other. Think about it: I bet you can’t find a Sundrop anywhere in Austin. I dare you to find a convenience store anywhere in NC that doesn’t carry an entire cooler-full. Think Eastern NC BBQ. Think Bojangle’s on every corner (just wait until you eat at the one on Western Boulevard; four-piece supreme dinner, trust me). Think sweet tea. Think grits that come anytime you say “eggs.â€
ACC basketball is in you. Come on and help us out. We want a winner – we need it. Don’t make me beg, Rick (because I will if I have to). Forget making The Dance; screw the “body of work.†I want banners – beautiful ACC and Final Four banners.
Do it for this great state. Do it for me. I’ve endured enough; I think we all have. C’mon home and toss away the axe and get us out of this dreaded day-tight compartment we’ve been stuck in for almost a decade. Make our decade-long wet dream a reality.
I look forward to hearing from you, Cowboy.
Dr. R.L. Bentley, III