{"id":56,"date":"2006-08-17T19:40:28","date_gmt":"2006-08-17T23:40:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/section30.com\/?p=56"},"modified":"2006-08-17T19:51:33","modified_gmt":"2006-08-17T23:51:33","slug":"56","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/section30.com\/?p=56","title":{"rendered":"TNL Countdown to Football, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Tailgating Newsletter<\/em> started as a simple email in 2003 written by a lonely, young man living in the Beau Rivage and through the years has evolved into a phenomenon with a following reaching cult proportions.\u00c2\u00a0 No one could have ever foreseen the impact it would have on those it has reached, especially not this humble author.<\/p>\n

In honor of the most ground-breaking independent tailgating publication in east-central North Carolina, TNL<\/em> staff is counting down the days to football season by rolling out every archived issue of TNL<\/em> that exists.\u00c2\u00a0 Each issue will be prefaced by a short commentary by the author and then followed by the original, unedited edition.\u00c2\u00a0 Some issues have been forever lost to posterity; the ones that follow in the next two weeks survived\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Volume 1, Issue 1
\nAugust 2003
\nBiloxi, Mississippi<\/strong><\/p>\n

This one was literally written in a matter of minutes, although it likely played out in my mind all morning.\u00c2\u00a0 I can remember being on the production line outside in the scorching August Biloxi heat, doing a time study, and all of the sudden I knew I needed an A\/C break and I went in and just started typing.\u00c2\u00a0 It was more for my own entertainment than anyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.\u00c2\u00a0 This was still back in the days where I believed that I still had some potential and so did Chuck Amato; back when life still had happy endings.\u00c2\u00a0 I was particularly proud of the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yonder autumn winds gone by;\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that still cracks me up.\u00c2\u00a0 I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always tried to write the same way I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d tell a story, and I think this original<\/em> TNL issue captured my unique style perfectly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Of particular note is Ben \u00e2\u20ac\u0153acquiring\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lizzy and bringing Worm on through expansion.\u00c2\u00a0 While Lizzy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s utility status never quite panned out after the fashion of former utility tailgater Mr. Fonville, Worm has shown tremendous upside and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pleased to announce he has been re-signed for another season.<\/em><\/p>\n

Miller\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s attempts to bring on a smoking-hot co-ed continue to prove unsuccessful. <\/em><\/p>\n

Enjoy.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0\"The<\/em><\/p>\n

The Tailgating newsletter<\/strong>
\nA Message from Your Tailgating President<\/em><\/p>\n

Aloha means “Hello!” fellow tailgating participants!<\/p>\n

I would first like to thank the man above, without whom, none of this would be possible.\u00c2\u00a0 And I want to thank each of you for allowing me to serve you in this capacity (like you had a choice).\u00c2\u00a0 But most of all, I’d like to thank myself; just because I can.<\/p>\n

The dog days of summer are ensuing and the autumn season is once again nearing, and as we approach our sophomore alumni season, we remember the good times, the good food, and good friends of yesteryear.\u00c2\u00a0 We delight in the memory of yonder autumn winds gone by; of blistering heat and of driving rainstorms and of magnificent sunsets (and sunrises, actually); and of past glory.\u00c2\u00a0 Pain heals; chicks dig scars; glory lasts forever.\u00c2\u00a0 Unless it fades.\u00c2\u00a0 So do it because the chicks dig it.<\/p>\n

It seems like just yesterday when Benjamin Rae Crawford was cooking hotdogs on that tiny grill (that we bought at the Apex Walmart at 1am on the eve of that gameday), beside the Tank, using his fingers to turn them and take them off the grill because we forgot, of all things, utensils.\u00c2\u00a0 Of course, we remembered the 5 jugs of Sweet Tarts, but not the silverware.\u00c2\u00a0 But that was in 1997; many, many, many memorable memories ago.\u00c2\u00a0 That was our first tailgating experience, our first home game as students (vs. Clemson; for those keeping score, we lost, 19-17 because Eric Leak couldn’t catch a freaking beach ball).\u00c2\u00a0 I would like to say we have learned much since then, but it would be so incredibly remiss of me to speak so unkindly of the truth.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

So in the ever-eternal essence of the spirit of autumn winds gone by, we shall plan to plan better for the ensuing tailgating season, one that promises to create even more memorable memories to be remembered by many.<\/p>\n

We’re not just a bunch of sloppy, loud, obnoxious, bare-chested, stumbling, sausage-biscuit-throwing drunks anymore, much to our chagrin; we are now an esteemed contingent of proud and semi-respected alumni and we shall mind our manners and behave in accordance to all that is decent and proper (at least while we’re sober).<\/p>\n

We shall plan to plan each game a half-fortnight in advance.\u00c2\u00a0 The brash yet talented Deputy Special Assistant to the President of Tailgating Operations, Mrs. Lauren D(amn) Williams, will take charge of this in my stead (because, let’s face it, no one really takes me seriously, and really, why should they?).\u00c2\u00a0 Deputy Williams will be sending out a weekly electronic-mail message to all members requesting recommendations for the following weekend’s festivities, so that as a group we can all be better organized.\u00c2\u00a0 Please respond promptly to this message so she can organize who needs to bring what and promptly get back with each of you through one mass electronic-mail message detailing what responsibilities you have been charged with.<\/p>\n

This is to ensure that our festivities run smoother than a cheap Walmart watch, which could not be said in autumn days gone by.\u00c2\u00a0 If it will assuage your fears in even the slightest capacity, please know that I will have very little to do with actually getting anything done, as I am just a status symbol.\u00c2\u00a0 I sit in the cheap seats, just like you.\u00c2\u00a0 Plus, I’ll likely be laid up drunk somewhere and won’t remember.<\/p>\n

Your cooperation is most graciously appreciated.<\/p>\n

Should you be troubled with any concerns or questions, please feel free to contact Deputy Williams between the hours of 3am and 4am on weekdays or anytime before 7am on Saturdays, as I am much too busy with the day-to-day Tailgating operations to deal with your petty problems.<\/p>\n

News and Notes<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am proud to announce that negotiations to expand our current tailgating conference have been successful.\u00c2\u00a0 I feel this move was necessary to ensure our status among the nation’s tailgating elite.\u00c2\u00a0 Through intense off-season negotiations, we acquired Jeremy McGinnis and his accompanying tailgater-to-be-named-later.\u00c2\u00a0 This move has almost certainly solidified our position among the finest tailgating groups in the nation, as we now have a sixth alumnus among us.\u00c2\u00a0 McGinnis will begin participating as an active member in the 2003 season and we are very pleased to have him.<\/p>\n

Benjamin R. Crawford has recently acquired Elizabeth Miller, who will likely be used as a utility tailgater on certain weekends.\u00c2\u00a0 She has shown the proclivity for being feisty and she should fit in well…Matt Edwards and Lucas Miller have yet to announce their free-agent signings for their accompanying tailgating slots, although Miller is believed to be close to signing veteran tailgater, Mr. Fonville, who was a strong addition on several occasions last year.\u00c2\u00a0 Miller’s past attempts for signing a smoking-hot blonde co-ed have been unsuccessful.\u00c2\u00a0 Edwards and Miller both have until August 29th to announce their signings.<\/p>\n

Remember little people, the tailgating season is only 6 short weeks away!<\/p>\n

Sincerely,
\nDr. R.L. Bentley, III, MD, PhD
\nTailgating President\/CEO
\nChief of Neurosurgery,
\nWilkes Hospital<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Tailgating Newsletter started as a simple email in 2003 written by a lonely, young man living in the Beau Rivage and through the years has evolved into a phenomenon with a following reaching cult proportions.\u00c2\u00a0 No one could have ever foreseen the impact it would have on those it has reached, especially not this … Continue reading TNL Countdown to Football, Part 1<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=56"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=56"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=56"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/section30.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=56"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}